Afterglow
by uhnonniemiss
Summary: Newmann oneshot. Hermann neglects to give Newt aftercare, and Newt experiences a sub-drop. Fluffy hurt/comfort. Contains a couple of swears, negative thoughts, and sexual/ BDSM references (nothing graphic). This is my first Pacific Rim fic so please tell me what you think xxx


Newt rolled over onto his side, his tattooed arms sprawling across the pillows. He could feel all the aches and knots from the night before, but they felt more like marks of honour than anything else, and the smile that crept onto his face was bright enough to power a whole Shatterdome. _The night before._

"Morning, Herm," he grinned, rolling onto his back again. "You know, you were one kinky mother- Herm?" The pillow next to him was empty, the sheets cold and uninhabited. "Hermann?"

He sat up, muscles protesting, squinting with bleary eyes. "Hermann, are you there?" Without the stupid, sweater wearing nerd, Newt's bruises seemed a little less nice. Silently, he vowed to never, ever tell Hermann how he wouldn't be able to drift back into a lemony sleep-haze without him. The mathematician's ego was stroked too often as it was.

Wrapping the blanket around his legs, he looked into the tiny-as-balls lounge they had. "Hermann, my man?" More silence met him, and Newt's face fell as he padded back towards the bedroom. He rubbed his wrists absentmindedly, the red marks from last night's restraints fighting for attention with the bruises on his upper thighs and the stiffness in his shoulders (Hermann was colourful, who knew?). He never left like this. As stoic as he was, the guy was a secret softie when it came to Newt, even more so when it came to TLC. Even if he had to leave, Newt could always find a tiny Kaiju sticky-note on the door, with a good morning message.

He shifted uncomfortably on his feet, trying to remember the night before. Had he done something? Crossed some kind of invisible line? Newt couldn't think of anything… except, well, Hermann had been a little _harsher_. Still a gentleman, but definitely more dominant.

A flood of emotions made Newt sit down heavily. What if it hadn't just been dominance, though? What if Hermann really thought he was dirt? He scolded him enough in the lab. What if it wasn't just playful teasing? What if he decided he really hated Newt, but was too polite to say anything until now?

Oh God, what if Hermann left the Shatterdome entirely? Or worse, asked for Newt to be transferred? _What if, what if, what if… _Newt's hands began to tremble as the wonderful memories of Hermann bled into venomous, hideous things. He stumbled into the bathroom, negative emotions hitting him like tidal waves. Dropping the blanket, he climbed in, intending to be clean, needing to be clean, _please_, _I just want to be clean._

The worst part was, he knew it was illogical. Stupid. This was a rush of dumb mixed up endorphins, but all the biology in the world wouldn't get this feeling out of his head.

_What do you even do, anyway? _The water from the shower stung his eyes. _Play loud music. Insult him. Leave Kaiju entrails all over the lab. You're a waste of space. _Newt fought to breathe, and sank to the floor of the shower, gasping for breath. _You call yourself a rockstar and all you are is a waste of space. _

The thing was, Newt fucking loved Hermann. Loved him like hell. Yeah, he'd take cheap shots, but God, Hermann was honest-to-god incredible, smart and funny and kind and a hard-ass Dom to boot. Newt started to choke out sobs, made of equal parts fear and self-disgust. _Hermann doesn't love you back, because you are dirt. You are fucking _dirt_._

"Newton?" The thick accent called the name from the other room, and Newt flinched. "Newton, are you awake? I picked up some of those processed sugar monstrosities you seem to like so much." Newt heard Hermann getting closer, but couldn't find his voice to call out. He heard the door of the bedroom slide shut, the quiet rhythmic _thump _of Hermann's cane. "Newt?

Newt tried his voice, but only managed a squeaky croak. Taking a shaky breath, he tried again; wavering, but clear. "In here."

Hermann opened the door, waving away the hot steam. His eyes widened as he saw Newton curled up, eyes red from crying. "Newton! Whatever is the matter?" He shut off the water, grabbing a fluffy white towel and wrapping it around Newt's shoulders. "Are you unwell? Are you injured?" Leaning heavily on his cane, Hermann helped a shaking Newt out of the porcelain. "Darling, why do you tremor so?"

"I'm s-sorry, Hermann." Now the tears were flowing, they wouldn't stop. "I'm s-sorry, I l-l-love you."

"And I love you, Newton, but that still doesn't explain why- oh," the word came out in a huff as he saw Newt's wrists. "Oh, my love. The emotions are harder for you this time?" Newt nodded, and Hermann planted a kiss on his forehead, still rubbing the towel. "It's alright. I have you. I have you."

Newt took another breath, the words coming out in a rush. "I'm sorry Hermann I'm so s-sorry, oh god, you left this morning and there was no note and I th-thought I'd upset you and I c-c-couldn't stop thinking about it and I thought m-maybe you'd leave forever because all I do is an-n-noy you but I love you s-so much." His glasses sat lop-sided on his face, his hair spiked up like an anime character, as Hermann let the towel drop and led Newton to the bed.

He covered Newt's waist with the duvet (more for warmth than modesty) and moved so he was sat behind him, Hermann's chest against Newt's back and their legs tangled together. Newt noticed that Hermann was dressed in pyjamas, not a suit, the fabric soft against his skin.

"It is I who needs to apologise here, not you, darling." Hermann pressed his lips against Newt's neck. "I knew that you needed more aftercare in the mornings than the evenings. Contrary to your beliefs, I am by no means upset- I went to fetch you breakfast, before the mess hall filled up. I hoped to be back before you woke, but Miss Mori detained me a while." He moved back a little, but only enough so he had room to massage Newt's shoulders, finding the knots of tension. "I am the one at fault. I should have waited in case you needed me."

"R-really?" Newt started to relax, his breaths coming easier, deeper.

Hermann smiled. "_Gutte got, _man. You really believe I care so little for you?" Newt shifted slightly, melting into Hermann.

"No?" It sounded too much like a question for Hermann's liking, and he hummed. "Well, maybe a little. I don't know, dude, my emotions are whacked out this morning."

"You're experiencing a sub-drop. It's a perfectly normal process, you'll be back to yourself in no time." Hermann paused for a moment. "Let me see your wrists, if I may." Newt turned so he was curled in Hermann's lap, and obliged, smiling fondly as Hermann's eyebrows furrowed. "I knew I should have tended to these last night," he tsked. "I was far too rough on you, Newton, these won't heal rapidly. Again, I can only offer apologies."

"No, Herms, you were perfect. I want them there, I really do. I just… hold me for a second." He kissed Hermann gently on the lips.

"Newton, darling, after finding you in this state, I have little inclination to ever leave your side again." Hermann smiled, but he wasn't entirely joking, and his voice hadn't lost that edge of concern. "Tell me what you need. Food? Painkillers?"

"I think I can live with that. And nope, I'm all rock and roll." Newton smiled weakly, but Hermann wasn't having it.

"Darling, I beg of you. Tell me how you're feeling. Let me help you." He held Newt's face gently, looking him in the eyes, and Newt gave in- not that he was particularly fighting it, or whatever.

"Um, sure. I guess… I couldn't stop thinking about how much I do to annoy you. I just felt like I can't make you happy, that I'm a w-waste of space." Hermann went very still and quiet, and Newt suddenly felt nervous again. "Herms?" His voice faltered, but he didn't need to speak, because Hermann was kissing him. Kissing his lips and his hands and his shoulders and his hair with lips that were somehow cautious and desperate.

"Oh, Newt," he murmured around the contact. "Oh, my darling. You could never. You are the most beautiful- the most exceptional- the most magnificent-" every few words he kissed Newt again. "You are the best scientist, nay, the best _man_, I have ever had the fortune to meet."

"I love it when you call me Newt." His cheeks turned a delicate shade of pink, and Hermann raised an eyebrow.

"Really? That was what you chose to focus on?" There was no malice in his voice, and Newt shrugged, grinning. "You are, to use a term of phrase you are so fond of, an absolute dork, Newton."

Newt snorted. "Nah. I'm crazy cool and you know it."

"Someone's feeling better," Hermann smirked. "Does that mean we can return to our daily routine of insults? I think we broke at least four scientific laws today."

Newt pretended to consider. "I don't know, actually, I quite enjoy you worshipping me like the god I really am. What was the word you used, exceptional? Maybe I should have breakdowns more often."

Hermann rolled his eyes."You're incorrigible." Somehow he made the words sound like _I love you._

_"_If by that you mean awesome, than yes." Newt kissed him on the nose. "Hey, did you say something about breakfast?" There was something in the perfect normality of it, the upwards curl in Newt's lip that let Hermann know; that was Newt's way of saying_ I love you, too._

**I watched pacific rim and I've had an obsession with the gay science husbands ever since ! this is so ooc I'm gonna hurl I'm so sorry this is my first time uploading anything with this pairing (or anything not phan tbh) so be a little lenient maybe?**

**Please review if you liked it or have any constructive criticism, thank you so much for reading xxxxxxxxx**


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